Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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