And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
