He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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