ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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