I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
