im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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