I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
