i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
