Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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