So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
