he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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