Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
