so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
