yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
