Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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