i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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