It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
