remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
