I think scott just propositioned me for sex
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
