i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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