your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's official drugs can't kill me
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
