my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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