he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Can I color on your dick again?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
