Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
