i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
