this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
