i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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