I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you had me at cake vodka
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
