Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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