I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
babies were throwing up all over the place
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
