I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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