Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
