he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My vagina is officially offended.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize