So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
