You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
