before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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