oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
