you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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