i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
bring money and cleavage
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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