I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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