Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
