Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
