I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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