do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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