Redeem this text for a blowjob
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
