the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Bring me that man meat
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
