On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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