Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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