We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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