for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
