I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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