(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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