His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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