Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
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He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
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There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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