I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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