Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
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