yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
