every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
