If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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