Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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