the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
