my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
