Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
