he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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